Kay Burley – what the fuck?

A serial killer is jailed. The seriousness of his crimes ensures that he will not live another day as a free man. The mandatory press galoots lobbying for the return of the death penalty hop all over it. A further two sex killers are locked up within a week and the debate gathers pace. Press coverage, much of it unedifying in the extreme, piles up, and one wonders where the next angle will be found. Will the tone be elevated by conscientious journalism, or dragged further into the gutter by some hack who asks questions first and thinks later? A two-word answer for you: Kay Burley.

Having secured an interview with Pamela Wright, partner of the murderer Steve Wright, Burley posed a question that will go down in history for its sheer jaw-dropping insensitivity. “Do you think if you’d had a better sex life, he wouldn’t have done this?” asked Burley, demonstrating an interview technique which, having long ago found the bottom of the barrel, has struck out for new and interesting depths. I have yet to decide whether or not it is to Wright’s credit that she considered and answered, rather than driving a stake into Burley’s heart.

It will come as no surprise to anyone that I’m no fan of the Murdoch empire, and that I feel it has done for journalistic standards what Guy Ritchie has done for cinema. Indeed I feel that were Dante still alive today that he would have to revise his Inferno to add an extra circle just for Rupert and his legacy. It’s a personal opinion, and I am aware it is not a particularly unique one. So it takes something truly head-spinning to surprise me where Sky News are concerned – and somehow Burley has pulled out of the bag an absolute scorcher, one that takes the old certainties, sets fire to them, urinates all over them until the fire is dead, and then puts them through some kind of crushing mechanism before scattering them to all four corners of the globe. Then visits them all and pisses on them again.

Burley will retain her job at Sky News. It’s an organisation so far beyond redemption that word has it they don’t bother with mirrors in the toilets because so few of its employees have reflections. Scientifically-controlled tests have shown that when a television set is tuned to Sky News, the room temperature drops by on average five degrees Celsius, and if you play its incidental music backwards a voice can be heard exhorting the viewer to sacrifice a neighbour so that Rupert Murdoch can feed off their soul. It’s broadly similar to Fox News, the main difference being that for Fox the method of execution is by use of a ceremonial sword, whereas in the UK the viewer is advised to use half a brick.

Rumours that Burley was persuaded to drop from the interview her follow-up question “So do you feel 50% to blame yourself, you horrible frigid bitch?” are as yet unconfirmed, but it is believed that on taking a short break from drowning new-born puppies to watch the interview, Rupert Murdoch sent Burley a congratulatory telegram written in the blood of slaughtered infants.

Will Burley apologise for attempting to spread the blame around in such a ghoulish way? Will she penitently give some thought to journalistic and moral standards in future? It’s hard to imagine it happening, sadly. Indeed, I’d be willing to bet that Hell will freeze over before that happens. Which is great news for Our Kay, as she’ll have somewhere nice and familiar to practice if she decides to give Dancing on Ice another go.

EDIT: I just read this post. Says it better than I did. Sod.

EDIT 2:  Anyone wishing to push Burley towards the exit door at Sky News can sign the petition here.

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One Response to “Kay Burley – what the fuck?”

  1. There is a petition to have Kay Burley suspended here:

    http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/sack-kay-burley/sign.html

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