Jodie Marsh. Just… Jodie fucking Marsh

It may not be topical or relevant to fulminate about the many idiocies of Jodie Marsh, but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s Friday. Okay, she’s an easy target (in so many ways). But don’t you just want her to fuck off and never, ever speak a word again? And, ideally, wear a burka or something – anything to flatter her assets in the best possible way, by ensuring they are never seen again?

It’s not that I hate her – although, truth be told, I do. It’s more that I think her existence on this planet could at some stage cause us all to be engulfed by the purifying fires of judgement. And no-one wants that, do they? Has she truly not yet cottoned on that the only reason for her creation is so that Jordan looks really good by comparison?

Her scattergun dismissal of all criticism as coming from people who are either “jealous” or “lesbians” or, perhaps, both, misses the point in oh so many ways. Chiefly, if you were going to pick someone of whom to be jealous, Jodie Marsh would rank somewhere between Pete Doherty’s cleaner and the press officer for the Liberal Democrats. Staggering though it may be, there are a great many people who would not, given the choice, choose to be Jodie Marsh. Although it must be cool to be so untouched by the misty fingers of reality that you hire forty security guards to patrol your Big TV Wedding when the only celebs there are Syd Little and Lynsey Dawn McKenzie. For fuck’s sake, my postman is more famous than Lynsey Dawn McKenzie.

With some car-crash celebrities, it’s natural to feel a little bit sorry for them. But this intensely self-pitying yet still somehow bragging piece of work is just one example of what a vile individual Marsh really is. She has stooped many times in the past to the ultimate fuckwit’s response to criticism, to trumpet the fact that she has an IQ of 138, as though a person’s IQ has any kind of relevance to anything at all. Jimmy Saville has an IQ of 149 and is one of the biggest morons ever to tread the earth, so anyone who leaps about the place waving their own score on a placard should really be horsewhipped until they bleed.

But what would I know? I’m jealous, and according to the laws of probability, also a lesbian.

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3 Responses to “Jodie Marsh. Just… Jodie fucking Marsh”

  1. […] someone searched Google for “Lindsey Dawn McKenzie fucked” and it brought them to this post of Paul’s. I don’t think that’s what they were looking […]

  2. This is the funniest fucking post I have read this month! I’m howling!

  3. […] Marsh again. About a fortnight ago I posted an angry damnation of celebrity fuckwit Jodie Marsh and, therein, I posited the oft-expressed point of view that she existed only to make […]

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