Hello all

Posted in Fury Home with tags , , , , , , on October 23, 2008 by bootlegmarkchapman

Impotent Fury has moved out after being found in bed with Blogspot.  WordPress has cut the crotches out of all Impotent Fury’s trousers and is forwarding all IF’s bills to the following place:

Here

This doesn’t mean Impotent Fury or WordPress love any of you any less.  It’s not your fault.

BNP’s Claims To Legitimacy Will Never Ring True

Posted in Fury Home, Media, People, Politics, The Modern World with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2008 by bootlegmarkchapman
What's Red, White and Blue and hangs from an arsehole?

What's Red, White and Blue and hangs from an arsehole?

They have a representative on the GLA.  They have numerous councillors.  They purport to have the most popular website of any UK political party, and have just launched a 24-hour Web TV station.  Things right now are looking positive for the BNP.  For a few years now they’ve been slavishly working on overhauling their image – a necessary step considering that Richard Littlejohn (yes, that Richard Littlejohn) has termed them as “knuckle-dragging scum”, and Jon Gaunt considers them too intolerant.  Well, when he’s in front of a TV camera, anyway.  It even seems that this bid for legitimacy is beginning to bear some fruit.  So have the BNP changed?  Are they your friendly, acceptable alternative to the two-and-a-half party cartel?

Well, there are cosmetic changes.  Formerly avowedly racist, the BNP now claim that it’s not race that concerns them, but rather immigration.  Unlike former leader John Tyndall, who proudly proclaimed Mein Kampf as his “Bible” before dying amusingly three years ago, Nick Griffin today distances himself from tags such as “fascist” and “Nazi”.  The party line is that the BNP are not far-right or racist, but “Nationalist”, according to its prominent members.

With Richard Barnbrook‘s election to the GLA came the party’s highest-profile electoral success so far.  It marked a step up from the handful of meaningless local election “victories” that the party’s supporters trumpeted so loudly, which were then followed by the newly-elected BNP councillors not bothering to attend meetings.  It should not be forgotten, however, that the hardly fashionable Green party won twice as many seats as the BNP.  This would seem to point to a fairly qualified success for Britain’s “fastest-growing political party” (a claim which in any case always seems to be something of a desperate reach.  Last I heard Britain’s fastest-growing sport was Ultimate Frisbee, but I’ve yet to see that on TV.  Mind you, I don’t often watch Eurosport).

Anyway, like it or not, the “new and improved” BNP have made some gains, so clearly more and more people are buying the line about them being newly tolerant.  Should they?  I think any regular reader (yes, all three of you) will know what I’m about to say…

In a word, the answer is no.  Take, for example, the party’s Director of Publicity.  A meaty role, especially considering the party’s regular whinges about being denied a public platform.  You’d want someone filling that role to have if not a flawless history, at least an honourable one.  So who is the BNP’s DoP?  Mark Collett. Now, Mark Collett is a fairly intriguing character.  From any angle, he would seem to be a thumping great cock-brain.  A fan of Adolf Hitler and Johnny Adair who openly refers to AIDS as a “friendly disease” because it kills black people and gays.  But if you look at it from a whole other angle, Collett may just be the anti-Nazi movement’s bravest and ballsiest soldier.  He gives the lie to suggestions that the BNP have changed their ways, and no hatchet job from the left or centre could ever more comprehensively quash the myth.

Griffin himself has claimed that the Holocaust was “… a mixture of Allied wartime propaganda, extremely profitable lie and latter witch-hysteria”.  No amount of spinning or back-tracking can cover up just how vile that statement is.  Griffin may deplore the supposed corruption at the higher end of UK politics, but if Brown, Cameron or Clegg had publicly made such a comment in the past, they would not be leading their parties now.  Are we meant to believe that Griffin has made a 180-degree swerve from holding that view?  And that, knowing what he knew about John Tyndall, he didn’t see the inherent problems in making common cause with him?  He’s a bullshitter, and all that the ongoing makeover of the party shows is that, just like the caricature of a corrupt politician, Nick Griffin will say whatever it takes to get him closer to some little bit of power.  Spin?  How about explaining away the BNP’s bar on non-whites joining the party by deflecting attention on to other groups – none of which are all-white for some reason – that practice a policy of single-race membership.  None of said organisations are aiming to one day be in Parliament.

If one scratches the surface of this supposedly “new” BNP, their bold claims are undermined time and again.  Make no mistake, they’re as repellent as ever.

Thatcher To Get State Funeral. Not Yet, Sadly.

Posted in Fury Home, People, Politics, Today's Society with tags , , , , , , , on July 13, 2008 by bootlegmarkchapman
Om hold for now

On hold for now

Anyone who spends as much time as I do on various Internet message boards will have been at risk this morning of signing on to a forum and seeing in the “Latest Topics” a reference to the news that Baroness Thatcher is set to be given a state funeral.  As excitement built and fingers clicked mice, we were set for colossal disappointment, as it turns out that the story concerned advance planning for a future ceremony when she finally edges one to the slips.  Champagne went back on ice, street parties were cancelled and the special china went back into cupboards all over the country.

The question of why her descent into Hades should be given a state send-off will have been a secondary concern for those of us hoping that 2008 will be the year our Thatcher-Mugabe-Doherty accumulator finally pays out.  But it is a valid one.  Even Churchill didn’t get the full trimmings. and he is considered by many to be the greatest Briton in history.  Churchill saw off global fascism, Thatcher’s only war triumph came against some shepherds.  Though the Baroness saw off many of her arch-enemies, it has to be remembered that those enemies included British industry.  Ready though her supporters are to trumpet that Thatcher “saved Britain”, all she actually did was mortgage its future for a short-term boost.

  • “She gave countless working-class families the chance to buy their council houses” – by taking out mortgages they could ill afford.
  • “She was unstinting in her defence of people’s freedoms” – except the Chilean people’s freedom to not be executed, tortured or “disappeared”.
  • “She had the courage of her convictions, and didn’t run the country by focus group” – no, that would have entailed listening to someone else’s opinions.

The same people who will pen hagiographies of Thatcher when she goes are the people who bemoan the lack of respect in today’s society, the lawlessness of youth in ghettoised inner cities.  The same people who never stop to think that respect may be incompatible with the selfishness encouraged in Thatcher’s Britain, and that crime is encouraged by poverty and unemployment.  But why would Thatcher have encouraged respect in the people of Britain anyway?  Given the job she did raising her own son, who sees no harm in aiding an illegal coup d’etat in Equatorial Guinea (allegedly … oh fuck it, sue me, good luck getting a payout), it’s hardly surprising that the Britain she created is so short on decency.  My generation is often referred to as “Thatcher’s children”.  I can’t stress how glad I am that that is just a metaphor, and that I have a good mother instead.

I’m aware of the irony of casting aspersions on other people’s levels of respect and decency in a post where I make clear my impatience for the death of an 82-year-old woman, but let’s just say that the breakdown of society has caused me to let a bit of hypocrisy slide.

So the celebrations may be postponed, but the plans for my area’s street party remain in my briefcase.  There may yet be another few false alarms, but let’s view it as a chance to stockpile supplies.  If there is to be a state funeral for this awful, awful woman, then let us match it with our jubilation.  For all the people who died poor and unheralded thanks to the country she created in her own image, and who will not be able to raise a glass, let’s make sure that – if she can look up and see us from where she’s going – she is left in no doubt that there IS such a thing as society.  And that we’ll be queueing to dance on her grave.

Sorry to disappoint…

Posted in Fury Home, People, The Modern World, The Written Word, Today's Society with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2008 by bootlegmarkchapman

One thing I love about WordPress as a blogging platform is the cornucopia of stats that it dishes out.  For instance, I can see who has linked to the blog, which posts are the most popular, and get a graph of the days when the most traffic has come through the site.  As a stats nerd and a self-obsessed feedback whore, this is the stuff my dreams are made of.

A particularly interesting stat is which search terms have brought people here through Google and other search engines.  A stat like this can be very important when looking to increase hits, letting me know what people who visit the blog most want to see.  My pet subjects, as regular readers will know (and hi to both of you, by the way), include the BNP and tabloid dishonesty, so one would expect to see them feature heavily in any breakdown of search terms.  So let’s now have a look at the list since this blog was created:

So, thanks in large part to this post I have had 144 visits from what I have to assume are mostly 18-30 -year old men with erect penises in their hands.  Especially when one takes into account that I have had a further ten searches for either “Lynsey Dawn McKenzie fucking” or “Lynsey Dawn McKenzie fucked”, with seven looking for Jodie Marsh in a similar role.  The truly amusing aspect of this is that I have mentioned Lynsey Dawn McKenzie a grand total of twice, the context for said mentions being as follows:

“you hire forty security guards to patrol your Big TV Wedding when the only celebs there are Syd Little and Lynsey Dawn McKenzie. For fuck’s sake, my postman is more famous than Lynsey Dawn McKenzie.”

Which incidentally is still true, although I grant you that my postman has not shown up in my Google referrals.  Not as yet anyway.

I can only speculate as to how many cocks have de-tumesced as a result of being greeted not by some photos of a vaguely well-known porn actress being plunged by some chav, but by a stream of angry rhetoric.  Perhaps in some bizarre Pavlovian accident there are now a number of guys in Burberry caps who can only maintain wood if someone stands over them calling Richard Barnbrook a cunt.  It is to they that I wish to apologise.  But seriously, Lynsey Dawn McKenzie?  I wouldn’t touch her with someone else’s ten foot barge pole.  For a bet.

So, never let it be said that I am happy to accept undeserved credit.  I will have to be more careful what I post about in my blogs from now on, and can promise that there will be absolutely no mention of XXX hot teen action cumshot Jenna Jameson anal masturbation naughty nurse schoolgirl three cocks all at once blow job and twice up the arse 2girls1cup rimming hot asian spunktrumpet on a thursday.  And I’m a man who keeps a promise.

Labia.

Blog Review: Richard Barnbrook

Posted in fuckwits, Fury Home, Media, Music, Politics, The Written Word with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 5, 2008 by bootlegmarkchapman
Richard Barnbrook spots a black person in the middle distance

Richard Barnbrook spots a black person in the middle distance

Regular readers will know of my unrestrained adoration of Richard Barnbrook, London Assembly member and aspiring film director. It was to my delight, then, that I stumbled across the swivel-eyed racist’s blog on the My Telegraph site. As you will know, because they never tire of telling us, the BNP gets censored at every turn and its members are hauled over the coals for the merest little slip (like suggesting that rape isn’t all that bad). So it’s refreshing to be able to read ole Rich’s words as he intended them to be seen, and for doubt to be removed once and for all – he really is a colossal arsewit.

Recently, Richard has found himself forced to throw light on the tragic situation of John from London – for those of you who don’t wish to be overcome with all-too-understandable emotion at the poor guy’s plight, he is so sickened by the present state of the nation (with all the nasty immigrants) that he is planning to leave the country – or “emigrate” as I believe the vernacular goes. Confusing solution to such a problem, no doubt, but that’s how life is when you’re a “working white class” person in Britain.

Of course, being a dynamic kind of guy, the kind of guy who gets engaged to a woman mere weeks after the start of a relationship because he’s impulsive like that AND DEFINITELY HETEROSEXUAL, Rich doesn’t rely on correspondence from working white class guys to raise awareness of problems. In this post he fearlessly swedges in against the university course on which some British Muslims are learning to fly planes. But just be warned, Muslims – Richard B is on to you! He’s not about to be gagged on this issue, or any other because he is RICHARD BARNBROOK.

It’s not just Muslims and multi-cultural Britain that he’s got in his sights, though. He also makes clear that he’s not about to accept any flannel off renowned Marxist thought-criminal Lily Allen. Having earlier likened her hairstyle to that of Boris Johnson – and isn’t it good to see that the BNP are weighing in on such weighty issues? – Rich approvingly notes that she’s now dyed it “girlie pink” and has been posing on a Union Jack duvet cover. All is in order, yes? Apparently not:

Imagine my surprise though when I found out today that she has written a nasty song about me, called Guess Who Batman? and put it up on youtube. It just shows that one needs to be careful when making comments about silly spoilt pop star girls. She must be mad, and having a little pop star diva strop. Still I reckon she is just frustrasted at being surrounded by non blokes or boys who are girls…whatever they call themselves these days.

I think you might mean “homosexuals”, RB. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten? Probably you’re just frustrated at being surrounded in the GLA by people who don’t agree with you, or sentient beings … whatever they call themselves these days.

But don’t assume from what I’ve said that Richard just churns out the words. He reads what other people have to say for themselves, and even responds with constructive criticism, as seen here on another blogger’s post – a review of To Kill a Mockingbird. See? Richard can speak on the big political issues, he can direct gay porn AND he can berate 18-year-old girls.  You may not agree with him on the issues, but Richard Barnbrook undeniably has style.

Criminals: “We hate a different kind of criminal!”

Posted in fuckwits, Fury Home, Media, The Modern World, The Written Word with tags , , , , , on June 5, 2008 by bootlegmarkchapman

After a long spell away, I’ve decided to cover a topic which may not be furiously relevant or all over the tabloids, but one which has exercised my spleen for many a year, and which I never cease to find fascinating. It’s an issue that the press rarely seem to pick up on, even though it is they that give it the most coverage. I’m referring to the issue of prisoners appointing themselves as moral arbiters, particularly with reference to cases where children are involved.

The abduction, murder or abuse of children is vile, and it’s not exactly rocking the boat to point that out. We are all aware of it, and there are few people clamouring for the release of offenders such as Ian Huntley or Roy Whiting. But not a single case involving a child seems to pass without the press informing us that the prisoners incarcerated alongside the suspect are taking a personal interest. In a recent example Karen Matthews, the mother of the abducted child Shannon Matthews and herself accused of child neglect and perverting the course of justice, was placed on suicide watch following threats from fellow prisoners. This is very far from an isolated example, and it begs a vital question: Are these people the least self-aware morons on the planet, or what?

In the course of the papers’ coverage of the death threats and bullying of prisoners such as Karen Matthews, it is difficult to find among the often quasi-approving text any detail of what those doing the bullying were convicted of themselves, but I’m willing to bet that at best a minority are in for shoplifting or public nudity. In general, we’re talking GBH convicts, armed robbers and, without question, murderers. So what has brought about the conversion that miraculously changes them into saints where a high-profile case involving children is concerned? Everyone has the right to an opinion, of course, and it’s one of a few rights that is (and should remain) unaffected by a criminal conviction. But would these people’s rushes to moral judgement not, perhaps, have been better employed before they smashed a glass in someone’s face or stabbed a complete stranger?

There’s an old joke, the telling of which I will make a complete mess of now, for your delectation.

A man driving down the road is arrested by police who suspect that the vehicle he is driving has been stolen. He is charged with the offence and is told he can face trial by jury or by magistrates. He asks for clarification of the difference between the two. “Well,” he is told, “the magistrates are court-appointed legal experts who will listen to the evidence and judge your case on its merits. A jury would consist of twelve of your peers who will do the same”. “Peers?” says the man, “what does that mean?” “Well, twelve ordinary people, just like you.” replies his counsel.

“In that case,” says the man, “I think I’ll take my chances with the magistrates. I’m fucked if I want to be judged by twelve car thieves!”

Not, I will grant you, very funny. But it raises a point which I can’t help thinking is often ignored – that the very worst people to judge a moral quandary are those who have been proven morally suspect. Most people in jail, whatever you may think about the vagaries of the legal system, are there for a reason. They’re not nice people, and their morals are not what you might call … how to put this … remotely intact. So instead of yelling death threats after lights out or planning to smuggle a Stanley knife into the shower block, could they not just try and sort out the motes in their own eyes first? Put some thought into why they are behind bars, maybe consider some remorse for their victims, look at changing their ways?

The “justification” that is often given (and swallowed by many who should know better) is that people who harm children – or allow them to come to harm – are in a special class all by themselves. The scum of the earth. As though there is some kind of league table. Now, I’m not saying that my own moral judgement is without its flaws, but if your one claim to the moral high ground is that the person whose life you took, whose body or safety you violated was born before Bros released their debut single “I Owe You Nothing”, then you’re desperately ill-equipped to judge anyone. More fool anyone for trumpeting your entitlement to do so – you may be a different sort of bastard, but you’re still a bastard.

The legal system will have its say on Karen Matthews, as it has and will do in the future with other suspects. And it is far, far better equipped so to do than a bunch of criminals.

Downtime Announcement (sort of)

Posted in fuckwits on April 3, 2008 by bootlegmarkchapman
I’ll shortly be going silent for a few weeks, as I’m moving again, into a nicer flat, as of tomorrow.  I have a vague impression that I’ll pop on to check e-mail and stuff in an internet cafe, but yeah, there you go.

It’d be nice if you’d miss me or something.  Christ.  People, I dunno.